hate yourself to love yourself – stand up to sit down, push down fall down to get up to lay down

How many times do I need to bathe until I feel clean, until I feel clean again.

I just want to feel good, to feel fresh again, to feel myself again.

The fog makes my head heavy, my heart sad and my body big.

To keep trying, to keep pushing, is to just keep pushing the bad the big and the scary away,

watching it grow

I’m hurting

For the girl in the mirror isn’t beautiful on the inside.

She’s in pain.

She has seen bad things, she has felt the knife on her wrist, she’s felt the cold blade,

She’s felt the heat of tears she’s listened to what is said on the inside.

The hate, the hate the hate.

The shame, the humiliation the blame

Her body is flaws,

Her skin touched

and its ugly

It’s foggy and I keep sinking further before walking clear.

The voices, they don’t stop.

The voices, They scare me.

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